I don’t know about you guys, but I really thoroughly enjoyed our most recent earthquake drill. The sound effects made it. It was almost as if the ground was literally shaking underneath my feet. The deep rumble and obnoxious ringing that echoed over the intercom system was just alarming. Look, a pun.

Never mind that our procedure is flawed. I believe that hiding under our teeny tiny little desks will not prove affective if the roof is caving in. But hey, that’s my opinion. Maybe adrenaline will kick in during the emergency and our desks will be like those women who lift cars to save their children. Go desk, go. You rock, desk. That solution is a little bit of a stretch, though, considering our desks are inanimate and scrawny.

I’d like to know if we’re going to have any other sound affects with other drills. Fires have little to no noise except the deafening slide-whistle alarm, and maybe the scuffling of panicked feet or breaking glass. No big deal. However, tornadoes freak me out anyway, so to have the sound of an incoming twister tearing apart buildings and shooting shrapnel dangerously close to where I’m ducking and covering would be awful. I don’t exactly want to go into the sounds one might hear during an intruder drill. Use your imagination.

I’m looking forward to how our next drills will change. I mean, maybe they’ll eventually put the school on a giant version of one of those machines that shake your cans of paint at Lowe’s. Surprise, students. This earthquake drill is about to rock your world. Look, another pun. I’m on fire today. Better set off the incredibly obnoxious slide-whistle alarm.