In the first days of 2012, my brofolios and I wanted to do something fun before the world ended. This particular Friday was opening day for “The Devil Inside,” which looked super-duper scary from the Red Band trailer, so Abel McSomething and I decided brave the waves of eighth graders, and go to the movie theatre.

Of course Rolla doesn’t get any good movies, so we got a group of brocoa puffs (not to be confused with Houf Pouf, “The Handyman”) together to go to Waynesville.

We met up with high school alums Jason Howard, Andy (Thomas’ brother) Butler, and Kory Carter around eight o’clock and read the reviews for “The Devil Inside.” We didn’t read a single positive review for the movie, but we decided to go anyway—with the hopes we’d see some scared, angry, or disappointed people in the theatre.

We hopped on I-44, the two round-a-bouts almost threw us for a loop (pun intended), but by about nine o’clock we were flying down the interstate and had plenty of time to get to the 9:40 showing.

We stopped by a gas station as we rolled into Waynesville to fill our pockets with candy and drinks. We’d rather drink bleach than pay those money-hungry animals working at the movie theatre for our snacks.

After buying a scratch-off or two we went to the theatre. The place was packed; I’m talking Lord of the Rings premiere night packed, that’s right, it was crazy. At that point we realized that it probably would have been a good idea to either call ahead to see if there were any tickets available, or to buy our tickets online. Of course they were sold out, so our options were pretty limited at that point. We could either watch “We Bought a Zoo,” go to Big Louie’s, or head back to Rolla and call the whole evening a loss.

So we made the logical decision—we spent our money on lottery tickets, instead of movie tickets. Kory was the only person who hadn’t lost money on lottery tickets, but at least those blood-sucking leaches in the movie industry didn’t get our money—the Missouri lottery did, which is fine by me.