In the spirit of Halloween, the bros and I decided to hit up some haunted houses. But then we realized that those are way too expensive, so we went to the haunted maze instead.
We all met up in the Country Mart parking lot, and piled into Hunter’s SUV. We would have been nervous about leaving our cars unattended, but we were with Justus and he’s a pretty big deal down at Country Mart. We invited Michael Janke and Nate “Dr. Love” Kramme, but Nate said he was busy dumping out buckets and Michael was “sick.” What’s that smell? Do I smell chicken?
As we drove down the road toward the maze, we got the feeling that at any moment a cracked-out meth-head might come outside from one of the houses/meth labs/drug dispensaries on the side of the road and try to stab, shoot, or assault us. This was the total experience; we were nervous before we even got to the maze.
While pulling into the maze’s parking lot, Abel generously offered to “stay in the car and make sure it doesn’t get stolen,” but we made him brave the maze—no bro gets left behind.
We entered the frat-house and each of us paid a reasonable $3 to enter the maze. Our legs trembled as the frat-boy said, “Watch your step,” and led us to the entrance of the maze.
“The Handyman” bravely led us through the maze; he’s such a great guy—and yes ladies, he is single. It seemed like around every corner there was a frat member in a cheap mask jumping out of the dark at us—talk about scary!
“The Handyman” led us in circles, and we passed the same revolving door in the maze about 300 times, “The Handyman” had failed us—but he’s still single and a great guy. Just as we were about to give up hope that we would ever get out of the maze, we were chased out by the thick smell of gasoline and a masked man with a chainsaw.
As we drove back to Country Mart, we realized we had worked up quite an appetite, so we hit up Donut King. As we ordered our bronuts, we slowly realized that even though the maze was scary, eating at Donut King late at night is much scarier.
